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Valentine’s Day: 2019 Edition

Everyone at Habit has some sort of unofficial role. For example, some people make sure there’s a fresh pot of coffee every morning, others go hard with Christmas decorating, and one welcomes new people by wearing a top hat (we won’t name names, but you can probably guess who if you keep reading).

For Valentine’s Day, like we do every year, we wanted to recognize the things that people do and the unique things we appreciate about them. This year we decided to go with business cards. Each of us drew a Habiteer’s name from a hat and designed a business card for that person, but we did it with an unofficial job title.

And like always, we loved the results so much that we wanted to share them with you. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: These business cards and the descriptions that go with them are 100% fictional. Any references to people, places, and businesses (apart from ourselves and Habit) are just for our own entertainment.

A captain of industry and a farmer at heart, Tim combines his passions for business and agriculture by sailing the golden fields of his family homestead. If you pass by on the road, you might see his land-boat in your rearview mirror and hear a faint, “Ahoy, matey! Let’s talk about your startup!” And if you’re wise enough to stop and talk to this curious figure, you might just get the tools you need for your business to succeed.

Tanner rules the interwebs with an iron fist, writing everything from sentient websites to a string of code that corrects minor irritating grammatical errors. He works in the shadows, righting the wrongs that have been committed against conscientious developers everywhere. He is a benevolent ruler. He is wise. He is all-knowing. He is watching, always watching. All hail our digital overlord!

During the day, Mickie is a dairy farmer who treats her cows with compassion and dignity. During the evening, however (and also during the day, we guess), she is a mother like no udder. She’s an A-plus parent with decades of experience and an entire library of educational reading under her belt, although she’ll be the first to tell you that this does very little in practical application.

The ergonomically comfortable throne has a new ruler: Mikaela Gordey-Parenteau of the House Habit, First of Her Name, Queen of Board Games, Protector of Tanner-Time, Breaker of Avocados (For Toast), and Mother of Clients. Her card is infused with the ashes of her enemies, and it’s liable to burst into flames at her will. Long may she reign.

Inspiring. Intentional. Pinterest-y. These are just some of the words that have been used to describe Meg’s approach to interior design, which has been profiled in major publications to international acclaim. Her client list is long, and her waiting list is longer (we hear a certain A-list celebrity couple is trying to work their way up for baby #4’s room, but they aren’t having much luck).

As groundskeeper, Laura takes pride in providing the people of the world with a premium beverage made with only the finest fair trade coffee beans. Every morning, she hand-selects each bean to ensure maximum scent and flavour profile for a more robust and invigorating brew. Her goal in life is to ever strive for the perfect cup of coffee. One day she will summit that peak and brew pure perfection, and we hope to be around to taste it.

King of the Courts. Lord of the Lay-Up. Sultan of the Slam Dunk. These are just a few of the titles that Jake has created for himself. But to all others, he’s known as the Ultimate Stretch Leader. He rules the basketball court with style and panache, and he shows no fear in the face of even taller opponents. He is the hoopmaster. He is… a baller.

Ivan knows a lot of things about a lot of things. From website accessibility to the best workouts to kitchen tips, he regularly blows minds with his encyclopedic knowledge of our world. But his first and foremost passion, the topic about which he is most widely regarded and respected, is the humble fig. Growers from around the world flock to his feet for wisdom, ensuring a bountiful crop each year.

In a world of failing Yuletide representation, one woman stands tall against the tide of ever-increasing holiday resistance. Grace has donned the mantle of Christmas Enforcement Officer and embarked on a crusade to ensure the hyper saturation of Christmas Cheer. Christmas isn’t just a holiday to her; Christmas is a way of life. Be sure you don’t end up on her naughty list…

Looking for a groundbreaking new campaign that’ll turn heads? Hunting for the next big idea that’ll bring in an even bigger payday? With scotch in hand, creative mastermind Dawn Draper will solve your problems with a simple, elegant answer that you can’t believe you didn’t think of yourself. But then, that’s why she has the corner office and you don’t.

Not many can make a living at being a Child of the Steppes, but Dan has applied his unique background and knowledge of the outdoors to make millions of dollars each year in product placement from adventure brands. He also shares his challenges and experiences with the world as a motivational speaker.

Known for his amazing dad-ing skills and his exceptional taste in music, Chris has created a career for himself at the intersection of parenting and platinum records. This sets him apart from other archivists because he can identify not only what makes an album culturally relevant, but also what appeals to Gen Z audiences.

Far below the surface of the ocean, deeper than any diver dares to venture, the Queen of the Ancient Depths rules. In her home at the bottom of the ocean, Ceara waits… to be called forth and take her rightful place as ruler of all things, not just the waters she has called home for millennia.

$2$s

Grace Struth

Grace is Habit’s writer, and she loves the challenge of finding exactly the right words to capture what a business is all about.

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